Saturday, March 29, 2008

a new chapter??

This past Thursday was my 30th birthday. A little strange to be in a new decade, but fun too. Different people have different responses to turning 30. For me 30 is no biggie...my "quarter life crisis" came at 27. I don't know exactly why, but that was a year when life just really hit me. I wasn't where I thought I would be or maybe where I hoped I would be...married, having kids like the majority of the rest of my friends and making a "home."

The transient lifestyle of housesitting was getting wearisome. Being single and living in the seemingly barren land of AK also looked bleak. It was after that year that I had a shift of sorts...a heart change, life change whatever it was. I remember after turning 27 letting go of my "plans" and expectations and enjoying the journey of life...wherever that led. It was at that point that I had true peace about being single, about living transiently and not knowing "for sure" where I would be in 10 years. All my friends with families had life pretty much laid out...life seemed pretty predictable for them.

Funny thing, I remember my senior year of high school saying and even journalling how I didn't want to "live the American dream"... go to college, get a good paying job, get married, have kids, plan for retirement. That sounded at the time and still sounds like death to me. I don't mean ANY of those things are BAD. They are not by any means. I mean I knew then at 18 that that was not God's plan for me and even though it has sounded good at times, the past 12 years as an adult have been a journey I would never trade.

As I start a new decade of life I am excited to see where God will lead me. Yes I would love to be married someday. Yes I would love to be a mother someday. Yes I would love to have a "home/house" someday. Yes I would love to live overseas. Yes I would love to do full time ministry somewhere along side someone. But more than all those things, I want to live my life in recklace abandon loving and serving others and bringing glory to God with all that is in me. THAT is where I have found the deepest satisfaction in life and the most fulfillment. My journey thus far has been wild to say the least. I can only imagine what is in store!

2 comments:

Joani said...

Happy Birthday to you Anita Eller. Can't wait to see you in the few weeks. I hope you & Carolina deliver on the weather you were promising - we've had quite the week of snow, sleet & hail! Yikes!

ace said...

I am super excited for the beach! I am praying, praying for good weather. I hope the 50s hits now and gets it all out of its system so we can enjoy 4 consecutive days of 70s and 80s! See you SOON!!